Luke 14:15-24
Intimacy is the
source and goal of life.
God created us in a very intimate way. He didn’t just speak
us into existence. When he created the first man he got hands-on. He formed
Adam out of the dirt. Then, perhaps even more intimately, he breathed life into
the one he had formed.
The creation of Eve was also quite intimate. God took a rib,
a part of Adam, and from it formed the first woman. Both of these together,
Adam and Eve, comprised the image of God. God had made us like himself so that
we would be fit for intimacy with him.
Life comes from intimacy. From the first man and woman on,
life is the product of union. Ideally, new life comes from committed and
faithful marital union. As a husband and wife give themselves to each other in
love, that love overflows into new life. We were designed to be products of
intimacy.
We were designed to find our ultimate fulfillment in
intimacy as well. What did it mean to be made in the image of God? It meant
that God had imparted himself to us in some way. He had made us like him. From the time of creation God
planned to bring us humans into intimate fellowship with him. The way for that
intimacy was paved by creation. We were made in such a way that it would be
fitting for the Son, Jesus, to become one of us so that we could become one
with him through an eschatological marriage. We were created for intimacy.
You are a bit like a puzzle piece. You’ll not find lone
puzzle pieces for sale, not even at the discount stores. Why? Because a puzzle
piece finds its worth in relationship with other puzzle pieces. Each
piece is valuable. But, an individual piece, isolated from the other pieces, ceases
to make sense and begins to lose its value. We are like puzzle pieces. We are
created together. We’re created to fit together with God and each other.
Unfortunately, in our
broken world, intimacy is not easily found and kept.
In the beginning we sinned. Our sin brought division, as it
always does. We who had walked with God, sharing sweet fellowship in the
garden, had distrusted and betrayed him.
So, what did we do next? Precisely what we continue to do. We
hid from God. He was the only one who could heal us and forgive our sin. And we
hid from him in the bondage of guilt and shame. Reconciliation and restored
intimacy through confession and forgiveness were available. God called to Adam
and asked for a confession. But still, Adam hid.
Fear kept Adam and Eve away from God. And it keeps us away
from God and each other. We’re broken. We have guilt. We have shame. In our
fear we somehow believe that the best solution is to hide from each other.
Somehow we suppose that hiding will protect us. We think
that isolation will free us. That’s the way we think in this broken world. As
we suffer under a load of guilt and fear – bound – we suppose that we’ve found
freedom. In reality, freedom from intimacy is bondage of the worst kind.
Beauty of intimacy
In open and honest intimacy we see ourselves for who we are.
We cannot truly understand ourselves in isolation. We become who we truly are
only through relationship. It’s in relationship that we are able to manifest
our own personalities. If you want to know yourself give yourself to someone
else.
As we become open in relationships of love we are freed from
selfishness, finding our delight in giving rather than taking. In isolation we
seek delight and fulfillment within, where it can never be found. In intimacy
with others we find the delight and fulfillment we seek. We find the freedom of
giving rather than taking.
Through transparent relationships we are freed from hiding. The
illusion of freedom we once experienced while isolating ourselves and hiding is
cleared away when we allow the light of love to penetrate our lonely caves. In
intimate relationship we become free to be ourselves, unashamed.
But how can we experience it? There are so many barriers to
truly honest and sincere relationships. Our guilt, shame, and fear stand in the
way. How can we cross the gulf separating us from each other?
Obstacles to intimacy
In Jesus’ story people refused the invitation to a feast, a
time of fellowship, because they were too busy. The excuses were lame then and are
still lame now. “I bought land” or “I bought oxen” or “I got a wife.” None of
these are honest reasons.
Are you too busy for relationship? How many husbands and
wives are “too busy” to develop intimacy within their own families? How often
are we in too much of a hurry to engage our friends and family in difficult and
serious discussions, the kind of discussions that are necessary for the development
of intimacy? If it’s not that we’re too busy it’s that we’re too tired from
being so busy to get real with one another.[1]
Many of us are busy and hurried as an excuse to protect
ourselves from the intimacy we fear. We are threatened by intimacy. When we
open up to others we fear that they will see us for who we really are. We fear
that we will be judged. Not only do we fear others seeing us without any masks,
we are threatened by the possibility of truly seeing ourselves.
Yet another reason we erect barriers to fellowship is the
fear of responsibility. When we open ourselves to others we lose the excuse one
man offered to Jesus, “and who is my neighbor?” (Luke 10:29). As we enter into
authentic and intimate relationships we can no longer delude ourselves that we
are not responsible to one another.
All of these excuses are not only used in our human relationships
but, more importantly and tragically, in our relationships with God.
More obstacles to
overcome
We devise excuses. One of the perennial favorites is good works.
The basic idea is that if I do something for God or my neighbor I am then free
from any further duty. If I give God and my neighbor some of my time, talents,
or money then I am no longer obligated to give the main thing – my self. Of
course it’s not true. Until you give your self
you have not fulfilled your duty.
Some argue that they cannot open themselves to God and
neighbor, for if they did they would then become emotional. All of the powerful
and frightening emotions that had been safely tucked away would come bubbling
out. And it is implied that no one would want that.
The reality is that our fear of intimacy and openness is
keeping us from the richness of life. Many of us are emotionally dull because
we have hidden and stuffed our feelings for so long. The need to keep emotions
inside is not really an excuse at all.
Path to intimacy
Considering our arsenal of lame excuses, is there any way
for us to experience the intimacy we so desperately need and fear? There is a
way. His name is Jesus. He said, “I am the Way.” Jesus extends an invitation to
fellowship. He invites and enables our intimate fellowship with the Father and
the Spirit.
But to say that Jesus invites us to intimacy is really only
part of the truth. It’s not that Jesus says to us, “Let me invite you to have
fellowship with me. It will make you a healthy and fulfilled person. I highly
recommend it.” Jesus doesn’t just suggest fellowship. He demands it. According
to Jesus, there are two great commandments – love for God and love for
neighbor. And those two commandments really just boil down to one – love.
Jesus defeats all of our excuses. When we say we can’t come
to him because we have fear, guilt, sin, selfishness, busyness, or whatever, he’s
always got the answer for it. To those who are too busy he offers rest and
provision. To those who are fearful he offers peace. To those who are guilty he
offers forgiveness. Nothing can keep us away from Jesus except our own refusal
to come to him.
When we come to him we find what we have been looking for
all along. We were created for him. We were created for love.
Come to the feast
God invites us out of our isolation and into a feast of
fellowship. Jesus is not inviting us to work in a sweatshop. He’s not seeking
to suck the joy out of us. He’s not inviting us to a flavorless, colorless
life. He invites us to a feast.
Even though openness to our neighbors will sometimes mean
pain, it’s still worth it. Even the pain of intimacy is precious and holy.
Jesus himself was betrayed by his intimate friend. When we are hurt as we give
ourselves to others God takes that pain and accepts it as a pleasing sacrifice.
One price we pay to become open and intimate with God is
confession. And there is a time and place for confession to our neighbors as
well. Confession is not easy. But it is worth it. Confession brings forgiveness
and release.
So don’t run from Jesus any longer. Stop running from God.
Be open to him. Be reconciled to God and your neighbors. You’ll find what you’ve
been searching for all along. Come to Jesus and live!
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